Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[hawg_ryder]

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[Mark BEX]

The French ... They have also started wearing their reversible coats .

"Turncoats" - very clever :-)

 

[hawg_ryder]

Ya gotta run whut ya brung!


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[ehwatt]

View attachment 25505
Ya gotta run whut ya brung!


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Story of my life.

 

[hawg_ryder]

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[Coss]

The high priced lawyer was sitting in his office when his secretary announced the arrival of a new client,
who turned out to be a very sexy young mother.

“I want to divorce my husband,” said the woman.

“On what grounds?” asked the lawyer.

“Infidelity,” she replied. “I don’t think my husband has been faithful to me.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well,” she said, “ I don’t think he is the father of my son.”.........................................................

 

[Coss]

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked in her ears with an otoscope,
he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?"

The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat.
He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?"

Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat,
he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?"

"Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants." ......................

 

[hawg_ryder]

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[Coss]

My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley."

"Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was."

"Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"

"Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley's tit. And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight."...........

 

[hawg_ryder]

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