Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

 

[Coss]

Stephen Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years.

His glasses were smashed, broken wrist, a twisted ankle, and grazed knees…

Apparently the date stood him up..............................................................................

 

[W. WIllie]

Sick Sick Boo Boo.

 

[Coss]

Yeah, that's why it warns not safe for work, or a lot of other things ......................................

 

[hawg_ryder]

Yeah, that's why it warns not safe for work, or a lot of other things ......................................

Humor... It's a difficult concept...

 

[Coss]

Every weekend before she went out on a date, the young girl was told by her mother,
“Remember, dear, when he tries to touch you a certain way, a girl’s best friends are her legs.”

Much to her mother’s dismay, however, several weeks later her daughter announced that she was pregnant.

“What! How did it happen? Didn’t I tell you that your best friends are your legs?”

“You did, Mama,” she replied. “But there comes a time when even best friends must part.” ..............................................................

 

[Coss]

Two paratroopers are sitting in a cafe for breakfast when one says to the other,
“I have had a terrible morning. At about 3:00 in the morning this big hairy man comes up to me and tells me if I want to join the army I need to follow him. So off I go to a plank raised 10 feet from the ground and he tells me to jump."

"So did you jump?" the other paratrooper asked.

"Of course not! I told him I’m a paratrooper and that it is below my dignity to jump 10 feet.
So he took me to another platform, 50 feet from the ground and told me to jump."

"And did you jump?" the other paratrooper asked, again.

"Of course not, I told him I'm a paratrooper and it was below my dignity to jump 50 feet.
So he took me to a platform 200 feet from the ground, pulled down his trousers and took out his big hairy willy and told me
if I didn't jump he would stick it up my ass."

"So did you jump then?"

"A little bit at first." ..................................................................

 

[Coss]

Ok W. Willie, this one you can Boo hiss all you want....

What is the definition of disrespectful?

Running through a graveyard singing "Staying Alive!"

Ok, have at it......with my blessing....

 

[hawg_ryder]

give it a sec....

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[hawg_ryder]

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