hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
No worries ehwatt... just had some personal stuff going on and been kinda busy...
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Yeah, it's life, and it has it's moments.
You just have to deal with them as they happen.
But as long as everyone is fine, it goes on, and on, and on, and repeat as fitting.....
You just have to deal with them as they happen.
But as long as everyone is fine, it goes on, and on, and on, and repeat as fitting.....
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Who's up fer it!
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
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George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Uh Oh... Looks like the wife is having a garage sale!
.....
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Johnny Acree
Elio Addict
- Joined
- May 12, 2014
- Messages
- 1,530
- Reaction score
- 2,573
Thanks to "The big bang theory " I think that's funny!
A man goes to the doctor's and says, “I would I like to get castrated". The doctor tries to convince him but the man won't listen.
All he keeps on saying is, "I want to get castrated! I want to get castrated! I want to get castrated!”
The doctor says, "Your life will be changed after this operation. Do you still want to go ahead?"
“Yes!"
After a few hours the man is walking in the hospital with a walking stick in his hand and legs apart. He meets another man walking the same way.
He says to the other guy, “So even you got the operation done?"
The other man replied, "Yeah after 37 years of my life, I felt that it would be much better to get circumcised."
"Crap. That’s the word!" ................................
.....................................
A new inmate is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new inmate looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.
I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."
The new inmate asks, "What happened?"
"Well, one day Riley reported his credit cards missing." .....................................................................
.......................
The new inmate looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.
I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."
The new inmate asks, "What happened?"
"Well, one day Riley reported his credit cards missing." .......................................
.....................................................
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came to see a therapist. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
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On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
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