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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Keith Dahl, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    At a lingerie store, a husband wants to buy his wife the sheerest lingerie he can find. "This is $200," says the saleswoman, showing him an item.

    "I want one that's more sheer," says he.

    "This one is $350."

    "Sheerer than that."

    "This is the sheerest we have. It's $500."

    "I'll take it!" he replies. The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her, saying, "Go put this on and come down to model it for me."

    She goes upstairs, opens the box and thinks, "This thing is so see-through that the old coot won't even notice if I'm wearing it or not.
    I can take it back for a refund and he won't know the difference."
    So she comes out wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose at the top of the stairs. "So, how do you like it?" she asks.
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    He looks at her a moment and says, "Well, you'd think for $500 they'd iron the thing." ............................:becky:...............:drum:
     
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  2. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    At a party, an older couple is talking to a young one. The young man says to the old man,
    “I’ve heard that when you get up in years, you can’t have sex anymore. Is that true?”

    “I don’t know where you heard that, young man, but we have sex almost every night!” the older gent replies.

    “Really?”

    “Sure. Almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday…”
     
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  3. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A BMW asks a VW Beetle, "Why do your eyes pop out of your body like that?"

    The beetle replied, "Let them stick an engine up your ass and see what happens to your eyes!" ...............:eek:.........:shocked:........:wacko:...........:scared:...
     
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  4. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    Two guys, one a senior and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide.
    The old guy says to the young guy. “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

    The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”

    The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

    The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she’s wearing tight white shorts.
    What does your wife look like?”

    The old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.” ......................................:D....................:drum:
     
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  5. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    WOW! Little did we know... :eek:
    George Washington air strike.jpg :rolleyes:
    I wonder if his call sign was "Tree Chopper"?:p:D

    :cool:_hr
     
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  6. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    Not really humor, but a few facts in case any of you folks make it down to Texas!
    Facts about Texas.jpg

    :cool:_hr
     
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  7. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    dog patrol with turkey leg.jpg :p
    This oughta work good!

    :cool:_hr
     
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  8. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    Red Bull gives ya Wiiings!:D
    red bull in hummingbird feeder.jpg :p



    :cool:_hr
     
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  9. hawg_ryder

    hawg_ryder Elio Addict

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    one more...
    dress for mid 70's.jpg :pound:


    :cool:_hr
     
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  10. ehwatt

    ehwatt Elio Addict

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    Thanks SO much. I was afraid you had left us.
     
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