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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Keith Dahl, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    Sally says to her friend, “My husband is so absentminded.
    Yesterday we were making love on the couch when the doorbell rang, and he got up and answered it.”

    Her friend says, “What is so absentminded about that?”

    Sally replies, “He took me with him.”
     
  2. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet.
    When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him 3 wishes. “I’d love an ice cold beer right now," he asked the genie.

    Poof! A beer appeared. Next, the man said, "I wish to be on an island surrounded by beautiful women."

    Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him. For his final wish, “I wish I never had to work again!"

    Poof! He was back at his desk in the government office...................................................:becky:...........................................:drum:
     
    W. WIllie likes this.
  3. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A blonde is filling up an application form for a job. She supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address, etc.

    Then she comes to column on "Salary Expected".
    She is not sure of the question.
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    Keep going...
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    After much thought, she writes "Yes". ............................................................................:becky:............................:shocked:............:drum:..............
     
  4. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    A man is playing golf with his wife. They have just finished the first hole, when a ball comes flying over, knocking the woman to the ground.

    The husband couldn't revive his wife, so he ran all the way to the clubhouse.
    "Is there a doctor in the house, my wife has just been hit by a golf ball!" he called.

    "I'm a doctor," chimed up an old chap at the bar. "Where was she hit?"

    The man replied, "In between the first and the second holes!"

    The doctor said, "Well, that won't leave much room for a bandage!" ........................................:drum:
     
  5. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    At a Harvard-Yale football game a man from Harvard and a man from Yale end up at the urinal together. When the two men finished the man from Harvard headed for the sink while the man from Yale headed for the door.

    The man from Harvard says, " At Harvard they teach us to wash our hands after we pee."

    The man from Yale replies, "At Yale they teach us not to pee on our hands.".......................................:drum:..............
     
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  6. Coss

    Coss Moderator Staff Member Moderator

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    The butcher lived in an apartment over his shop. One night he was awakened by strange noises, coming from the shop.

    He tiptoed downstairs and observed that his 21-year-old daughter was sitting on the chopping block and was masturbating with a liverwurst.
    He sighed and tiptoed back to bed.

    The next morning, one of his customers came in and asked for some liverwurst. The butcher explained that he did not have any.

    The woman was annoyed. She pointed and said, “No liverwurst, eh? Well, what’s that hanging on the hook right over there?”

    The embarrassed butcher frowned at her and replied, “That, lady, is my new son-in-law.”
     

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