hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
_hr
-
Welcome to Elio Owners! Join today, registration is easy!
You can register using your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account, just click here.
Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
_hr
The perky blond returned home with an ultra-Mod, clear plastic mini-dress and held it up for her husband’s approval.
“Why, you can see right through it!” the incredulous husband gasped.
“No you can not, silly,” she answered. “Not when I’m in it.”
“Why, you can see right through it!” the incredulous husband gasped.
“No you can not, silly,” she answered. “Not when I’m in it.”
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
For all you folks working from home... A little Zoom etiquette...
_hr
_hr
The pharmacist comes to in to the drugstore to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
He approaches the clerk and asks, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says the man came in earlier to get something for his cough.
And since she could not find the cough syrup, she gave him a bottle of laxative.
The horrified pharmacist shouts, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!”
The clerk calmly responds, “Of course you can. Look at him, he's afraid to cough.”
He approaches the clerk and asks, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says the man came in earlier to get something for his cough.
And since she could not find the cough syrup, she gave him a bottle of laxative.
The horrified pharmacist shouts, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!”
The clerk calmly responds, “Of course you can. Look at him, he's afraid to cough.”
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
TRUE TEXAS TALL TALE
The Texas Department of Transportation (TxDOT) found over 200 dead crows on Highway 281 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.
A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).
The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorcycles, while only 2% were killed by cars.
TxDOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorcycle kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"!!!
_hr
The Texas Department of Transportation (TxDOT) found over 200 dead crows on Highway 281 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.
A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).
The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorcycles, while only 2% were killed by cars.
TxDOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorcycle kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"!!!
_hr
The Queen is visiting one of Australia’s top hospitals and during the tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh God," said the Queen. "That’s disgraceful! What is the meaning of this?"
The doctor leading the tour explains,
"I am sorry your Royal Highness, but this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen.
If he doesn’t do that five times a day they'll explode and he’ll die instantly."
"Oh, I’m so sorry," said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blowjob. "Oh my God!" said the queen. "What’s happening there?!?!"
The doctor replied, “Same problem, better health coverage.”
"Oh God," said the Queen. "That’s disgraceful! What is the meaning of this?"
The doctor leading the tour explains,
"I am sorry your Royal Highness, but this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen.
If he doesn’t do that five times a day they'll explode and he’ll die instantly."
"Oh, I’m so sorry," said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blowjob. "Oh my God!" said the queen. "What’s happening there?!?!"
The doctor replied, “Same problem, better health coverage.”
The 'movie experience' is getting worse everyday…
Why just the other day I saw two hours of sex and violence, and that was only in the lobby!
Why just the other day I saw two hours of sex and violence, and that was only in the lobby!
An extremely drunk man looking for a brothel stumbles into a podiatrist’s office instead and weaves over to the receptionist.
Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain.”
Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pull out his penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtain.
“That’s not a foot!” screams the receptionist.
“Hey lady, I didn’t know you had a minimum!”
Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain.”
Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pull out his penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtain.
“That’s not a foot!” screams the receptionist.
“Hey lady, I didn’t know you had a minimum!”
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
_hr
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
_hr