hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
We're still hangin' on down n' Texas!
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
A well-known ladies man with a long list of sexual conquests walks into his neighborhood bar and orders a drink.
He looks a little worried, so the bartender asks him if anything is wrong.
“I’m a little worried,” the stud replies. “Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he’d kill me if I didn’t stop sleeping with his wife.”
“So stop sleeping with his wife!” the bartender says.
“I can’t. The jerk didn’t sign his name!”
He looks a little worried, so the bartender asks him if anything is wrong.
“I’m a little worried,” the stud replies. “Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he’d kill me if I didn’t stop sleeping with his wife.”
“So stop sleeping with his wife!” the bartender says.
“I can’t. The jerk didn’t sign his name!”
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Ya take care of Ol' Ma Deuce and she'll take care of you!
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
I really didn't get this one... at first...
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
C’est La Vie...
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Little Johnny is standing in the back yard with a hand full of M&M's and the cat by the tail in the other. His mom notices and watches him.
He pops a couple M&M's, takes a bite out of the cats tail, and hops a couple of steps.
Then he does it again, pops a couple M&M’s, takes a bite out of the cats tail, and hops a couple steps.
Finally his mom comes out and says, "Johnny, what are you doing?"
He says, "I’m being a trucker mom. Popping some pills, eating some p*ssy, and moving along."
He pops a couple M&M's, takes a bite out of the cats tail, and hops a couple of steps.
Then he does it again, pops a couple M&M’s, takes a bite out of the cats tail, and hops a couple steps.
Finally his mom comes out and says, "Johnny, what are you doing?"
He says, "I’m being a trucker mom. Popping some pills, eating some p*ssy, and moving along."
Impressionable and eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the energetic young preacher raised himself to full height and leaned over the pulpit.
With his booming voice he said, “Brothers and sisters,
if there are any among you who have committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mowf!”
With his booming voice he said, “Brothers and sisters,
if there are any among you who have committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mowf!”
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Today marks 4 weeks of isolation. I have been walking 2.5 miles a day around my neighborhood, increased my water, no meat, sugar, dairy or flour. The change has been fantastic! I feel great! Zero alcohol! A healthy vegan diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 30 minute home workout each day! Lost 17 pounds of fat and see muscle definition.
I have no idea whose post this is, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy & paste!
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I have no idea whose post this is, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy & paste!
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Sounds like someone that doesn't have a store close by, so he's living off what he has in the house ( supply wise ) and he has no cash on hand for a trip to the store. <heheheh>
A blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in the backyard. A bird flew over them and pooped on his head.
“Shit,” the man said. “Get some toilet paper.”
“What for?” said the girl. “He must be a mile away by now.”
“Shit,” the man said. “Get some toilet paper.”
“What for?” said the girl. “He must be a mile away by now.”