Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[hawg_ryder]

Sign of our times!

I was on a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8 for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, "If you don't let me unlock the door, you'll never get in there."



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[hawg_ryder]

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[hawg_ryder]

Sumpn' 2 do...

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[Jambe]

We are 11 days into self-isolation and it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I have thought very hard about how I can cheer her up. I have even considered letting her in – but rules are rules.

 

[Coss]

OOOOO that was cold Jambe, Just out right cold <cough, cough, cough AHHHHCHOOOO>
Good, but really cold, you should let her read this (YYYEEEKKKK what am I saying)

 

[Coss]

A man at a bar picks up a girl. They go back to his place and start a bit of foreplay. But the guy stops and says, “Listen give me a 68.”

Mystified the girl says, “What the fuck is a 68?”

He says, “Give me a blow job and I’ll owe you one!”

 

[hawg_ryder]

Well, I figure while we're all sitting around hunkered down and "social distancing" that I'd look for some fun stuff to do... Ran across this...

Y'all post how long ya hung on!


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[Coss]

Ummmm I have a silencer on my piece, cat doesn't mind it at all.
But he is half deaf. Does it still count?

 

[hawg_ryder]

Ummmm I have a silencer on my piece, cat doesn't mind it at all.
But he is half deaf. Does it still count?

Ya gotta up your game a bit Coss... I'd recommend trying it with a Bobcat and a Smith .500! Course if you're smart your 1st shot should be thru the Bobcat's head...
Hey, I hope everybody is keeping well and staying safe... Looks like the next few weeks maybe a rough patch for the country... All the best...

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[hawg_ryder]

All you married guys can relate!

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