hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Coss, I wasn't sure which would be the most appropriate thread to place this very useful visual guide for fuse sizing. I did think it could be an important tool for the forum members that aren't quite up to speed on the whole electrical thing... Feel free to relocate it if necessary!
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Feel free to relocate it if necessary!_hr
Mel
Elio Addict
I picked up a hitch-hiker the other day. Turned out he is an Aggie. Upon departing, he asked if he could somehow return the favor. I said, "Sure. I'm not sure if my turn signals are working. Can you check them for me?" He said "Certainly. Turn them on." I did. He watched and reported. "Yes, they are working. Wait. Now they are not. Now they are working. Now they are not. Now they are working. Now they are not..............."
larryboy
Elio Addict
I lined up a threeway for last night. A couple of no-shows but I had a good time
While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes, “Wow!What a great idea!” he thinks to himself.
So he buys three of them.
Two weeks later he goes back to using toilet paper.
So he buys three of them.
Two weeks later he goes back to using toilet paper.
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.
This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
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This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
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champsman
Elio Addict
A blind guy sits down in a diner and says to the waiter, "I'm sorry, but I'm blind and I Can't read the menu. So just bring me a dirty fork, I'll smell it, and order from there."
The waiter picks up a greasy fork, and hands it to the blind guy. The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, breathes deep, and says, "Ah...that's what I'll have...meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
The waiter can't believe it, and he goes and tells his wife, Joan, who's the cook.
The next day the blind guy walks in and the waiter says, "I'll get you a dirty fork." He gets a dirty fork, hands it to the blind guy, the blind guy smells it, and says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
The waiter thinks the blind guy is bullshitting with him, so the next day when the blind guy walks in, he goes into the kitchen and says to his wife, "Joan, rub this fork on your crotch." She does it, and then he goes out and hands it to the blind guy.
The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Are you kidding me?
I didn't know Joan worked here."
The waiter picks up a greasy fork, and hands it to the blind guy. The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, breathes deep, and says, "Ah...that's what I'll have...meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
The waiter can't believe it, and he goes and tells his wife, Joan, who's the cook.
The next day the blind guy walks in and the waiter says, "I'll get you a dirty fork." He gets a dirty fork, hands it to the blind guy, the blind guy smells it, and says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
The waiter thinks the blind guy is bullshitting with him, so the next day when the blind guy walks in, he goes into the kitchen and says to his wife, "Joan, rub this fork on your crotch." She does it, and then he goes out and hands it to the blind guy.
The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Are you kidding me?
I didn't know Joan worked here."
champsman
Elio Addict
A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.
The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance.
"That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."
"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."
The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance.
"That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."
"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."
champsman
Elio Addict
My mother-in-law did not like venison, a dislike she made extremely clear
to me. One day she dropped in, so I served her what we had in the house,
which was little individual meat loaves wrapped around hard boiled eggs
and covered with cheese sauce. She absolutely adored them and insisted
that I give her the recipe.
After telling her twice that she really didn't want it, I finally gave in.
Just after she put her third helping on her plate, I began the recipe. "Take
three pound of ground deer meat.”
She put her third helping back on the serving platter.
to me. One day she dropped in, so I served her what we had in the house,
which was little individual meat loaves wrapped around hard boiled eggs
and covered with cheese sauce. She absolutely adored them and insisted
that I give her the recipe.
After telling her twice that she really didn't want it, I finally gave in.
Just after she put her third helping on her plate, I began the recipe. "Take
three pound of ground deer meat.”
She put her third helping back on the serving platter.
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Ain't it da truth!
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