Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

Yeah, I got "Element", "Periodically", and "Table" all in that one sentence.

Ok, I know the Element has been out for a long time now, are the other two Honda's new prototypes or concept vehicles?

 

[Ty]

Ok, I know the Element has been out for a long time now, are the other two Honda's new prototypes or concept vehicles?

... and now there are 4 new Elements... I heard something about 7 rows. That's a lot of seats!


..................... for people not following along, there are 4 elements that have just been added to the periodic table which now complete the 7th row of the table. They don't have official names yet.

 

[NSTG8R]

Wow! That's 'heavy'!

 

[Coss]

Fact of life:

One woman brings you into this world crying and the others ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

 

[Coss]

An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession:

Man: Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years.
All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old.

Father: When was the last time you made a confession?

Man: I never have, I am Jewish.

Father: Then why are telling me all this?

Man: I am telling everybody ...

 

[Coss]

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, crushed nuts?

"No," he replied, "Arthritis"

 

[Muzhik]

... and now there are 4 new Elements... I heard something about 7 rows. That's a lot of seats!
..................... for people not following along, there are 4 elements that have just been added to the periodic table which now complete the 7th row of the table. They don't have official names yet.

We all know it's the grad students who did all the grunt work on this discovery. Maybe they'll let the students name the elements after their girlfriends/boyfriends. Or maybe their mom.

 

[Ekh]

Historians have discovered that William Tell, the Swiss archer, loved bowling with his family. Unfortunately, the league records all were lost in a fire, so no one knows for whom the Tells bowled.

 

[Coss]

Historians have discovered that William Tell, the Swiss archer, loved bowling with his family. Unfortunately, the league records all were lost in a fire, so no one knows for whom the Tells bowled.

"..... where is the groan button......."

 

[Ty]

Groaner alert... I used to wonder about my floor but I'm over it.