Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

Hmmmm seems to have quieted down in here, we'll fix that:

Little Johnny is standing in the back yard with a hand full of M&M's and the cat by the tail in the other. His mom notices and watches him.

He pops a couple M&M's, takes a bite out of the cats tail, and hops a couple of steps. Then he does it again, pops a couple M&M’s, takes a bite out of the cats tail, and hops a couple steps. Finally his mom comes out and says, "Johnny, what are you doing?"

He says, "I’m being a trucker mom. Popping some pills, eating some p*ssy, and moving along."

 

[Coss]

"There are two theories on arguing with women."

"Really, two?"

"Yep. But neither one works.".............................................

 

[Coss]

The phone rings. "Hello," says the husband.

A voice from the other side answers, "I am the man who kidnapped your wife
and I demand you to pay $100,000 dollars if you want her back."

The husband replies, "How about I pay you $200,000 dollars and you keep her?"

 

[Coss]

A blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in the backyard.
A bird flew over them and pooped on his head.

“Shit,” the man said. “Get some toilet paper.”

“What for?” said the girl. “He must be a mile away by now.” ..................................................

 

[Coss]

Hello hello...hello.....hello.... Is anybody here .....here...here.....here
Hmmm maybe everybody left....bummer ..... bummer .......bummer....
I guess it's time for the naked dancers >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

[FC]

Spoiler: Naked dancers

 

[hawg_ryder]

Think about it...

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[hawg_ryder]

Ain't it da truth!

...


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[Coss]

Those were Great!! I was ROFLMAO

Cheers to FC (I'm a cat lover) and Hawg_ryder (That quote in the last one has been true a number of times)

Gentlemen I salute you, you had me rolling on the floor. I've been down for the last couple of days, and your jokes were just what I needed.

 

[hawg_ryder]

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