Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

I had a cat that looked just like that, acted the same also ...............I really miss him......
But I found him in another cat that acts just like him.

Hey, that's him right by my side; Mr. Techie. He's 10yrs old now, and still going strong.

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[Coss]

You forgot to include, that he sounds like Walter Brennen. <sp>

 

[Coss]

Mom walked into the bathroom one day and found young Pete furiously scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush and toothpaste.

“What the hell do you think you are doing, young man?!" asked his mom.

“Don’t try to stop me!” Pete warned. “I’m gonna do this three times a day, because there is no way I’m gonna get a cavity that
looks and smells as bad as Bill’s sister’s!”

 

[Coss]

The wife receives a fax from her husband one day stating the following: "Dear wife. Since you are already 44 now, you cannot satisfy me completely anymore. So I am sending you this fax to tell you that I am at the Hotel Rivera with my 18 year old secretary, and now girlfriend. We will be back later on tonight, before 12 am."

As the husband arrives back home, just before 12am, he finds a note from his wife. The note reads: "Dear husband. I thank you for your letter and your consideration in letting me know. But I do have to remind you, that you yourself are also 44 years of age. Therefore you also cannot satisfy me completely anymore.

I am at the Beachfront Hotel now, with MY new boyfriend and tennis instructor, who is also 18. But I won't be back before the morning, because - as I would like to remind you - 18 goes more times into 44 than 44 goes into 18!" .............................................................................

 

[Coss]

One by one, the vice presidents of a large corporation were called into the CEO’s office. Then the junior executives were also individually summoned. Finally the summer intern was called in.

“I want the truth, Jack,” the boss whispered. “Have you been messing around with our accountant?”

“N-no, sir,” the young man stuttered. “I-I’d never do anything like that, sir!”

“All right, good,” said the CEO, “then you fire her.”

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[hawg_ryder]

...


_hr

 

[Coss]

A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money.

The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank.
The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank.

Which one does he end up marrying?

The one with the biggest boobs. .........................................................

 

[Coss]

Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation?

Because it's hand made.