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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Cobwebs ..... we don't have no stinking cobwebs here....
I met a fairy today. She said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets it's head out of it's ass!"
"You crafty little bastard," said the fairy.
I met a fairy today. She said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets it's head out of it's ass!"
"You crafty little bastard," said the fairy.
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
_hr
Two young fellows decided to open a microbrewery in the foothills.
After several years of careful work they produced a product with a golden strawlike color and a good strong flavor of hops.
They sent it to the chemical lab at the State Department of Food Safety and after waiting impatiently for three weeks the lab analysis came back.
"Dear Sirs... Our analysis of the sample sent to us indicates that your horse has diabetes." .............
...............
........
After several years of careful work they produced a product with a golden strawlike color and a good strong flavor of hops.
They sent it to the chemical lab at the State Department of Food Safety and after waiting impatiently for three weeks the lab analysis came back.
"Dear Sirs... Our analysis of the sample sent to us indicates that your horse has diabetes." .............
.......................
The attractive young college junior was filing a report with the campus police regarding her encounter with an exhibitionist.
“Those nuts always seem to bother the nicest, most innocent girls,” one officer said sympathetically.
“I’m terribly sorry you were exposed to this experience.”
“Oh, that’s all right,” said the undergrad. “It was really no big thing.”
“Those nuts always seem to bother the nicest, most innocent girls,” one officer said sympathetically.
“I’m terribly sorry you were exposed to this experience.”
“Oh, that’s all right,” said the undergrad. “It was really no big thing.”
Mel
Elio Addict
I decided to start a business raising chickens. I bought 500 baby chicks and planted them feet first. They all died. I then bought 500 more baby chicks and planted them head first. They all died. I called A&M and to discuss my problem.
Their response was, "We can't do anything until you send us a soil sample!"
Their response was, "We can't do anything until you send us a soil sample!"
BOOOOO Baby chicken killer booo hisssss
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Please! It'd be high-larious
_hr
_hr
A man was having a drink in a bar. Beside him was his small yellow dog. Soon another man with a dog came in.
This man had a large pit bull and taunted the first man to have the dogs scrap outside for $50.
Finally the man with the small yellow dog agreed. They went outside and the small dog completely pulverized the pit bull.
After paying the $50 the owner of the pit bull asked what kind of dog the yellow dog was.
The winner said, "Before I cut off his tail and painted him yellow, he was an alligator." ...................
............
This man had a large pit bull and taunted the first man to have the dogs scrap outside for $50.
Finally the man with the small yellow dog agreed. They went outside and the small dog completely pulverized the pit bull.
After paying the $50 the owner of the pit bull asked what kind of dog the yellow dog was.
The winner said, "Before I cut off his tail and painted him yellow, he was an alligator." ...................
............