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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Did you hear about the nymphomaniac?
She was so skinny that every time she swallowed an olive, five guys skipped town. ........…
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She was so skinny that every time she swallowed an olive, five guys skipped town. ........…
……….............
Love is a temptation caused by a sensation…
Which a man sticks his location into a girl's destination…
Which doubles the population for the next generation…
Do you need an explanation or do you need a demonstration?
Which a man sticks his location into a girl's destination…
Which doubles the population for the next generation…
Do you need an explanation or do you need a demonstration?
Someone said they come because of my jokes? Not to disappoint.....
Yo Mamma's teeth are so yellow…
That when she smiles cars slow down!
Yo Mamma's teeth are so yellow…
That when she smiles cars slow down!
That was just fair …….. so let's try again:
A guy goes to the doctor. He says to the doctor, "Doc, you got to help me. I've had this erection for weeks. It hurts so bad,
I can't put up with it anymore. So, can you help me?"
The doctor says, "I can help you." So he licks his two fingers and smacks the guy's penis.
Then a bug flew off and his penis went back to normal.
Then the guy said, "Doc, I feel great now! How much do I owe you?"
The doctor says, "Find me that bug and you don't owe me anything." ………………….....That's better ……….
......
A guy goes to the doctor. He says to the doctor, "Doc, you got to help me. I've had this erection for weeks. It hurts so bad,
I can't put up with it anymore. So, can you help me?"
The doctor says, "I can help you." So he licks his two fingers and smacks the guy's penis.
Then a bug flew off and his penis went back to normal.
Then the guy said, "Doc, I feel great now! How much do I owe you?"
The doctor says, "Find me that bug and you don't owe me anything." ………………….
....That's better ……….......
A flight attendant was transferring flights of a queue of people whose plane had been cancelled.
Suddenly a man pushed to the front of the line and angrily said, "I need to be on the next flight and it has to be 1st class!"
"I'm sorry sir, but you will have to wait until I deal with these people," she replied.
"Do you know who I am?" he snapped back.
The flight attendant calmly picked up her microphone and spoke clearly, so that the whole terminal could hear.
She said, "There is a man here at desk 14 who doesn't know who he is. Is there anyone who would be able to help him?"
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"Fuck you!" he said angrily.
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"I'm sorry, sir, but you will have to wait in line for that too."...…
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Suddenly a man pushed to the front of the line and angrily said, "I need to be on the next flight and it has to be 1st class!"
"I'm sorry sir, but you will have to wait until I deal with these people," she replied.
"Do you know who I am?" he snapped back.
The flight attendant calmly picked up her microphone and spoke clearly, so that the whole terminal could hear.
She said, "There is a man here at desk 14 who doesn't know who he is. Is there anyone who would be able to help him?"
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"Fuck you!" he said angrily.
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"I'm sorry, sir, but you will have to wait in line for that too."...…
….........……….....................................
One day a little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the bus driver. He starts saying things like,
"If my mom was a hen and my dad was a rooster, I would be a little rooster."
The bus driver said, "Shut up, kid!"
Still the boy went on, "If my mom was a female elephant and my dad was a male elephant, I would be a little male elephant."
"Shut up, kid!"
Still the boy went on, "If my mom was a female dog and my dad was a male dog, I would be a little male dog."
The bus driver got so mad, and asked, "If your mom was a prostitute, and your dad was a faggot, what would you be?"
The boy answered, “A bus driver.” ..............................
"If my mom was a hen and my dad was a rooster, I would be a little rooster."
The bus driver said, "Shut up, kid!"
Still the boy went on, "If my mom was a female elephant and my dad was a male elephant, I would be a little male elephant."
"Shut up, kid!"
Still the boy went on, "If my mom was a female dog and my dad was a male dog, I would be a little male dog."
The bus driver got so mad, and asked, "If your mom was a prostitute, and your dad was a faggot, what would you be?"
The boy answered, “A bus driver.” .............
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Up on da stage!
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Sorta puts it all in perspective, don't it...
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While eating a local diner, Mr. And Mrs. Mars exchanged horrified looks as the trucker sitting next to them lets out an enormous belch.
Indignantly tapping him on the shoulder, Mr. Mars says, “How dare you belch like that before my wife!
Looking up from his soup, the trucker says, “Sorry. I didn’t know it was her turn.” .....................
Indignantly tapping him on the shoulder, Mr. Mars says, “How dare you belch like that before my wife!
Looking up from his soup, the trucker says, “Sorry. I didn’t know it was her turn.” .....................