Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

What's the definition of a man's perfect breakfast?

His son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, his mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and his wife is on the back of the milk carton.

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[Coss]

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.

She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th-floor apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.

"Your Honor," she began cooly, "I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly!"

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[hawg_ryder]

Yee hah Bobby Lee!

_hr

 

[Coss]

A farmer was munching on a cookie as he watches the rooster chase a hen around. Playfully, the farmer threw a piece of cookie to the ground.

Seeing it, the rooster stopped chasing the hen and ran to the piece of cookie.

The farmer shook his head slowly and said, “Gosh, I hope I never get that hungry.”

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[Johnny Acree]

A woman had just given birth to a baby boy...
The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"

 

[Coss]

Damn, we need a yawn button to.

 

[hawg_ryder]

Damn, we need a yawn button to.

and/or a groan button!