Frim
Elio Addict
Dogs who were previously thought to be female may resolve the issue by lifting their leg to piss on the hydrant.
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Johnny Cyclone
Elio Aficionado
A cowboy goes in to a hotel and asks the clerk for a room telling him he just got married.
" Do you want the Bridal?"
"No. I'll just hold her by the ears till she gets used to it."
" Do you want the Bridal?"
"No. I'll just hold her by the ears till she gets used to it."
Mel
Elio Addict
Aussie moves to the USA to find a bride. Raised in the OutBack, he had never been with a woman. Found a Bride through a dating service. On the wedding night the Bride emerged from the bathroom to find that all the furniture had been moved out to the hall. When questioned why, the Aussie replied, "Well Ma'am, Like I said, I've never been with a woman. But if you'all are anything like Kangaroos, we're gonna need all the room we can get!"
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An American, Japanese and a Nigerian were boasting about how effective the electoral processes in their countries were better than one another.
The American was the first to speak.
He said elections in his country were so perfect that results were announced in less than 24hours.
The Japanese laughed at the American and said results in his country were announced less than 12 hours after the election.
Not wanting to be left out, the Nigerian laughed at the American and Japanese and enthusiastically said,
"Results are announced in my country even before the election!"
The American was the first to speak.
He said elections in his country were so perfect that results were announced in less than 24hours.
The Japanese laughed at the American and said results in his country were announced less than 12 hours after the election.
Not wanting to be left out, the Nigerian laughed at the American and Japanese and enthusiastically said,
"Results are announced in my country even before the election!"
A guy staggers to the bathroom, whipping out his penis even before he gets through the door.
Inadvertently, he’s wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman primping in the mirror. “This is for ladies!” she screams.
The drunk waves his dick at her and says, “So is this!”
Inadvertently, he’s wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman primping in the mirror. “This is for ladies!” she screams.
The drunk waves his dick at her and says, “So is this!”
86 year old Mabel sat down on the porch swing at the home and said to 88 year old Charlie, "I'll bet I can guess how old you are!"
Being a skeptic, he said, "Ok, I'll take the bet".
She immediately unzipped his pants, stuck her hand inside, fooled around a little, then pulled her hand out and said, "You're 88 yrs. old".
"How did you know that?"
"You told me yesterday."
Being a skeptic, he said, "Ok, I'll take the bet".
She immediately unzipped his pants, stuck her hand inside, fooled around a little, then pulled her hand out and said, "You're 88 yrs. old".
"How did you know that?"
"You told me yesterday."
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Anyone remember "Freedom Fries"?
_hr
champsman
Elio Addict
New Senior's Exam, you only need 4 correct out of 10 questions to pass.
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below ....
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats?Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name?Albert
8 ) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange (of course)
What do you mean, you failed?
Me, too! (And if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED!)
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below ....
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats?Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name?Albert
8 ) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange (of course)
What do you mean, you failed?
Me, too! (And if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED!)
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Quick! What do you see?
_hr
_hr
A man is walking and sees a sign that says: "MAKE MY DONKEY LAUGH AND WIN $200!"
The man thought, what the hell. He goes up to the man at the booth and asks, "How much?"
The man at the booth replies, "Fifty dollars, please." He gives the $50.
The man went around the wall to the donkey, whispered something into it's ear.
The donkey laughed hard and laughed loud. The man had got his $200 and was on his way.
The next month he was walking the same rout again, and he sees a sign that says: "MAKE MY DONKEY CRY AND WIN $200."
So he walks up to the booth and again, pays the $50.
He goes around the wall to the donkey and whispers something in its ear.
When he comes around the donkey is balling his eyes out crying.
Then the man at the booth says, " How did you make him laugh and cry?"
"Well, when I made him laugh I said my penis was bigger than his.
Then to make him cry, I showed him."
The man thought, what the hell. He goes up to the man at the booth and asks, "How much?"
The man at the booth replies, "Fifty dollars, please." He gives the $50.
The man went around the wall to the donkey, whispered something into it's ear.
The donkey laughed hard and laughed loud. The man had got his $200 and was on his way.
The next month he was walking the same rout again, and he sees a sign that says: "MAKE MY DONKEY CRY AND WIN $200."
So he walks up to the booth and again, pays the $50.
He goes around the wall to the donkey and whispers something in its ear.
When he comes around the donkey is balling his eyes out crying.
Then the man at the booth says, " How did you make him laugh and cry?"
"Well, when I made him laugh I said my penis was bigger than his.
Then to make him cry, I showed him."