Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

A tourist was hiking through the backcountry when he stubbed his toe hard. It immediately started bleeding, swelling and aching terribly.
He returned to the nearest small town and searched for a doctor.
The doctor said, "Well, we're a very small town and my hospital isn't equipped to do the surgery that toe requires and the bus won't be through here until tomorrow to take you out."

The tourist begged for some relief from the pain, so the understanding doctor offered him a pill.
"What's this? My toe is broken and you offer me a Viagra? What good will that pill do?"
.
.
.
.
.
..

Smiling, the doctor reassured him, “Take it before you go to bed and it will keep the blankets off your toe so you can sleep."

 

[Johnny Cyclone]

A ten-year old kid in my neighborhood took about twenty Viagra tablets, He was admitted to the hospital with 3rd degree burns to his palms.

 

[W. WIllie]

A "MASTER " in mastrabation is one who can change hands and gain a stroke.

 

[Coss]

Hate to say it, but W. Willie, that was weak …..

 

[Folks]

Diseased jokes? What you talking bout son?

One good rule is not for any of us to take ourselves too seriously around here. That said, At an age of even a semblance of maturity renders this couple looking more senile than funny to me. False teeth in the panties of the man sitting next to them? now thats funny. LOL

 

[Folks]

I've never looked at a joke site as being a dangerous place but with certain of the Jokes I'm seeing a great danger of being way too corny. Gravely dangerous around here with the likes of Willy and Coss. LOL

 

[Folks]

To save confusion; Even if you're fat and have your Bar BQ grill with you you are not allowed to park here.

 

[hawg_ryder]

Senior Sex:



Statistics were just released from Statistics Canada and The United Nations Board of Health teams:

The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born.



They revealed that American men between 60 and 80 years of age will, on average, have sex two to three times per week.

Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year, if they are lucky.


This news came as a shock to myself and my buddies, as none of us had any idea that we were Japanese.


_hr

 

[Muzhik]

When they filmed the movie "Volcano" about, yes, a volcano in Los Angeles, there are tons of people losing their lives because, well, volcano. Anyway, there was a scene involving a dog that was trapped on a street with lava incoming. Well, the dog didn't make it. During prescreening, the audience was so upset about the dog not making it that they went and remade that scene but this time, the dog climbed a firetruck ladder to safety.
Nobody cared about all the Californians who died in the lava.

Not 10 minutes before reading this, I heard something on the radio about how fundraisers know, do NOT bring up all the hundreds or thousands of people affected by XYZ. Focus instead on the individual's story. Hundreds of Californians are a statistic. Showing that little dog dying or making it out alive focuses on the individual. If they had shown someone's grandma being trapped and dying screaming, it would have affected a lot of people, but to feel sympathy for all those other Californians, you have to find some way to get people to extend feelings from that one person to the group.

 

[Ty]

Not 10 minutes before reading this, I heard something on the radio about how fundraisers know, do NOT bring up all the hundreds or thousands of people affected by XYZ. Focus instead on the individual's story. Hundreds of Californians are a statistic. Showing that little dog dying or making it out alive focuses on the individual. If they had shown someone's grandma being trapped and dying screaming, it would have affected a lot of people, but to feel sympathy for all those other Californians, you have to find some way to get people to extend feelings from that one person to the group.

Good point. That probably goes along the same lines as to why they name hurricanes. People pay more attention when they are named vs. when they aren't. I've noticed that severe winter storms are now being named. Probably to make people pay attention to what's going on.