Frim
Elio Addict
I am getting old. some of these jokes are simply not funny. And, I have noticed that there are three things that I have trouble remembering: names and faces.
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Ty
Elio Addict
There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
Johnny Acree
Elio Addict
- Joined
- May 12, 2014
- Messages
- 1,530
- Reaction score
- 2,573
Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They haven't had any gigs yet.
Yep, real knee slapper <yawn> uh huh, yep yep yep ....................................................
Doug McDow
Elio Addict
Who’s the world’s best salesman?
A married man who can make his wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her underwear in his car.
A married man who can make his wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her underwear in his car.
"Life isn't like a box of chocolates...
It's more like a jar of Jalapeños…
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow!"
It's more like a jar of Jalapeños…
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow!"
larryboy
Elio Addict
Three ladies are on the veranda of the country club having a drink. Due to several doors left open they can see into the men's shower but the man showering is only visible from the waist down. One lady says "That's not my husband". The second says " that's not my husband either". The third takes a long look and says "I don't think he is even a member of the club".
A pilot is having dinner with a brunette and when they finish, they head to a hotel.
He calls room service and asks for a bottle of red wine.
When it arrives, he opens the bottle and puts some of the wine on the brunette’s lips and then starts kissing her.
She asks what he’s doing and he replies, “When I have read meat, I must have red wine.”
“Ooohh,” she says.
A little later he calls room service again and orders some white wine.
It arrives in a few moments and he begins to splash it on the girl's breasts and then starts kissing them.
She asks what the white wine is for and he replies, “When I have white meat, I must have white wine.”
“Ooohh, she says.
Eventually, he works his way down, pulls out a can of lighter fluid and a match, sprinkles it on her muff, and lights it on fire.
“Aahhh! Why the hell did you do that?" she yells.
“When I go down, I want to go down in flames!” He replies.
He calls room service and asks for a bottle of red wine.
When it arrives, he opens the bottle and puts some of the wine on the brunette’s lips and then starts kissing her.
She asks what he’s doing and he replies, “When I have read meat, I must have red wine.”
“Ooohh,” she says.
A little later he calls room service again and orders some white wine.
It arrives in a few moments and he begins to splash it on the girl's breasts and then starts kissing them.
She asks what the white wine is for and he replies, “When I have white meat, I must have white wine.”
“Ooohh, she says.
Eventually, he works his way down, pulls out a can of lighter fluid and a match, sprinkles it on her muff, and lights it on fire.
“Aahhh! Why the hell did you do that?" she yells.
“When I go down, I want to go down in flames!” He replies.