Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

A man staggers into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Doctor asks, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was playing golf with my wife when we sliced our golf balls into a field of cows.
I found one stuck in a cow’s fanny.
I yell to my wife, 'this looks like yours.' I don't remember much after that."

 

[Coss]

A man walks into a drugstore where a clerk greets him, "Can I help you, sir?"

The man replies, "I’m looking for some deodorant."

"Oh," says the clerk. "Ball or aerosol?"

"Neither," says the man. "I want it for my armpits."

 

[Coss]

Bob and his wife take separate vacations for the first time.

When they get back home, Bob confesses, “Dear, I almost did something awful. One night at the hotel I dance with a nice looking woman."
"Then we had some drinks, and I wound up in her room."
"She pulled down the covers, we took off our clothes, and I actually crawled on top of her."
"But before anything happened, I thought of you, hopped off her, and ran to my room. What do you have to say about that?"

His wife says, “You are lucky. You were on top.”

 

[wjdom]

NOT A JOKE, BUT STILL PRETTY FUNNY....
The start of the Thailand space program...ya gotta see this!



This is cool!


https://www.youtube.com/embed/ pD_yQZ4iNjY?rel=0

 

[Ty]

NOT A JOKE, BUT STILL PRETTY FUNNY....
The start of the Thailand space program...ya gotta see this!



This is cool!


https://www.youtube.com/embed/ pD_yQZ4iNjY?rel=0

I have to admit. That was pretty cool. Now, I want to get some bottle rockets and try that...

 

[Lil4X]

SpaceX got nuthin' on those guys . . . a reusable launch vehicle!

 

[Johnny Acree]

A Tribute to Don Rickles - The Original Equal Opportunity Offender - yes click on this line

 

[larryboy]

The scene: Tun Tavern, Philadelphia
The date: November,1775
The first Marines are being recruited. After the first man signs up he is told to have a seat in the tavern and get a mug of ale and when a few more Marines have signed up training will begin. The next two Marines sign up on the buddy plan and go sit down with the first Marine. They order mugs of ale and when they are served one takes a big drink and says "Boy, nothing like a good mug of ale!" The Marine who was recruited first says "You call this horse piss good ale! Hell, in the old corps............

 

[Johnny Acree]

??? This is the joke thread. I got it.

 

[larryboy]

If that's supposed to be a joke, there is a place for it; if it's not a joke, then it will be deleted.
Your call; move? Or delete it?

Ok, I'll explain. First Marine has been a Marine for about 10 minutes. He is already telling people junior to him that the ale was much better in "the old corps". I guess you have to have been around some Marines. Or appreciate irony.