If you like Star Wars and have about 10 mins to kill, enjoy
(I like the one with Darth Vader doing the voice for a Tom Tom)
(I like the one with Darth Vader doing the voice for a Tom Tom)
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
During camouflage training in Kentucky, a private, disguised as a tree trunk, makes a sudden move and is spotted by a visiting general.
"You!" the officer barks.
"Don’t you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes, sir," the solder answers apologetically.
"But, if I may say so, sir, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice and I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches but when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger one say, 'Let’s eat one now and save the other until winter,' well that did it."
"You!" the officer barks.
"Don’t you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes, sir," the solder answers apologetically.
"But, if I may say so, sir, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice and I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches but when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger one say, 'Let’s eat one now and save the other until winter,' well that did it."
Johnny Cyclone
Elio Aficionado
Q- Why does Helen Keller wear yellow socks? A- Her dog is blind too.
larryboy
Elio Addict
The young man was concerned and rightly so. His penis had turned a bright orange! His choice in doctors was fortunate. His doctor believed that if you got enough information about a patient a smart doctor could figure out what was wrong no matter how unusual. It did not seem to be working though. Finally the doctor began to ask about his personal life. What did he do for fun? The young man said "Fun! Ha, I'll tell you what doc. My girlfriend left me and most nights after work I go to the video store and get a couple of porno videos and a big bag of crunchy Cheetos and go straight home!"
Mr. Bowers you know I couldn't let that stay.
And that all I'm going to say or do about it.
And that all I'm going to say or do about it.
A plane takes off from New York's Kennedy Airport.
After it reaches a cruising altitude, Captain Sparks makes an announcement over the intercom.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 293," he says.
"The weather ahead looks clear, so sit back, relax and - OH MY GOD!!!"
The intercom falls silent.
A minute later, Capt. Sparks comes back on the intercom.
"I'm so sorry for scaring you all earlier," he says.
"But while I was talking, an attendant spilled a boiling cup of coffee in my lap.
You should see the front of my pants!"
"That's nothing," a passenger in coach shouted.
"You should see the back of mine!"
After it reaches a cruising altitude, Captain Sparks makes an announcement over the intercom.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 293," he says.
"The weather ahead looks clear, so sit back, relax and - OH MY GOD!!!"
The intercom falls silent.
A minute later, Capt. Sparks comes back on the intercom.
"I'm so sorry for scaring you all earlier," he says.
"But while I was talking, an attendant spilled a boiling cup of coffee in my lap.
You should see the front of my pants!"
"That's nothing," a passenger in coach shouted.
"You should see the back of mine!"
Ty
Elio Addict
When you give an acid some attitude, you get 'a mean o' acid'!
Johnny Acree
Elio Addict
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bowers baldwin
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Who has the record for most deleted posts? Am I close at least?