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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Uncle Charlie

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From Jimmy Stewart via youtube:

A retired couple was having breakfast one morning, the Mrs. asked her husband if he would remarry if she died. "It's a lovely morning and I'm trying to enjoy breakfast. Please don't ask me about that." Later that same day, she asked again. He told her to not worry about such things. She wouldn't let it go for days on end. Finally he said one day, "No I wouldn't remarry right away. Maybe someday, but not right away."
"If you remarried, would you sell the house?"
"No, of course not."
"Would you sell our bed?"
"No, of course not."
"Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
"Of course not. She's left handed."
 

Ty

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This one is for my wife, who is somehow a Saints AND Cowboys fan... Yeah, I don't get it either...

What do you call a Dallas Cowboy player with a Superbowl ring?


Old!




(Yes, I get the irony of a Falcons fan making that joke) :(:D
 

Jim Johnston

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Yeah, I know this isn't a car joke, but does anyone know what "boat" stands for?

Break Out Another Thousand
DWR Your photo icon is my next new ride. We're seriously looking into the 2017 Hyundai Veloster Turbo. Best guess for us is a purchase in May 2017. When I question our dealer about using TrueCar to make the purchase he nearly fainted. I did some checking and they could have saved me $5,100.00. We didn't complete the purchase due to our 2014 lease not yet completed. I know I'll use TrueCar when we make the purchase in May.
 

Coss

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The Devil walks into a crowded bar.
When the people see who it is, they all run out except this one old man.
So the devil walks up to him and says, "Do you know who I am?"

The old man sips his beer and answers, "Yep".

The Devil says, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

The old man looks over and says, "I've been married to your sister for 27 years, why the hell should I be scared of you?"
 

RUCRAYZE

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“There’s a reason it’s called ‘girls gone wild’ and not ‘women gone wild’. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.” – Louis CK
 

Coss

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We're all doomed; to think these are the leaders of tomorrow:

Back code.gif


And even simple household items elude them:

Aloe Plant.gif


And we're not shy about sharing, here's a European vacation one took:

Fountain.gif




Sorry about the quality of the pics, they were screen scraped.
 
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