Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[wjdom]

make that speed bumps,, I type faster than I spell.

 

[tazairforce]

*sshole

Josh, the one you know may well be one.

But, the way we hear it around here is, 'BMdubbya'

 

[Joshua Caldwell]

I've noticed is that BMW drivers have a pronounced tendency to swerve TOWARDS bicyclists and puddles when there are people on the sidewalk... but everyone swerves away.

 

[Johnny Acree]

"You might be a redneck if" You ever cut your grass and found a car!

Thank you Mr Foxworthy!

 

[Ty]

How does a blonde turn on the light after... knitting?

She opens the car door.

 

[Critter]

"You might be a redneck if" You ever cut your grass and found a car!

Thank you Mr Foxworthy!

guilty of this, old station wagon parked beside the barn, was backing the bush hogg mower into a big gathering of honeysuckle. Busted the grill on the station wagin. Forgot it had been sitting there for about 10 years.

 

[CompTrex]

guilty of this, old station wagon parked beside the barn, was backing the bush hogg mower into a big gathering of honeysuckle. Busted the grill on the station wagin. Forgot it had been sitting there for about 10 years.

That's funny right there, I don't car who ya are.

 

[Norahsbed]

"You might be a redneck if" You ever cut your grass and found a car!

Thank you Mr Foxworthy!

Never found a car but a lot of other "missing" things have been recovered out in the woods, on the family farm! We even found the old trash site (from the late 1890's to early 1920's) in the woods, lots of antiques! LOL!

 

[bowers baldwin]

Now that I own a Fiat......

How do you get spare parts for a Fiat?
Just follow another one around.

What's the difference between a Fiat and a Jehovah's Witness?
You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness.

When should you do the first oil change on a Fiat?
When it gets to 50,000 miles, or in other words, never.

Have you seen the latest Fiat anti-theft device?
They enlarged the logo.

What occupies the last six pages of the Fiat owner's manual?
The bus and train timetables.

How can you get a Fiat to do 60 miles an hour?
Push it over a cliff.

A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my Fiat."
The dealer replied, "Okay. Sounds like a fair trade."

How do you make a Fiat go faster?
Tell the tow truck driver to speed up.

What do you call a Fiat on a hilltop?
A miracle.

Two Fiats on a hilltop?
Science fiction.

Three Fiats on a hilltop?
A funny place to build a Fiat factory.

 

[Johnny Acree]

"You might be a redneck if"
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't!

Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath"!