Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Critter]

Way back when, dad was taking us to our uncles in Florida. We stopped for gas in Georgia and the service attendant told us how to get back on interstate 75, but we quickly found out we were north bound. Dad found a flat area and crossed the divided middle and headed south just as a state trooper came into view. He pulled us over. Having a window seat I was listening to the conversation. The trooper said , don't you know it is illegal to cross the median. Dad asked what a median was .. there are several signs stating it was illegal to cross the median, When the trooper explained , dad said , oh that grassy strip is called a median. The trooper smiled, and asked , Don't you have Interstates in east Tennessee, Dad said yes, we do, but I know where I am going up there. Trooper changed the ticket to a warning and told all of us to enjoy our vacation. Walked off laughing about country hicks shouldn't be driving.

 

[goldwing06]

i wasn't gonna stoop to this foolishness but what the heck. back in the 50's, andrew hero was probably the biggest harley dealer in fl. pensacola was a great place to have a harley dealership, with all the young navy personel with money to spend. andrew's wife was a stunning beauty who rode with the guys and turned heads where ever she went. andrew and a large group of riders was on the way back to pensacola from a rally in south fl, this was before interstates and pump your own gas so hwy 90 was the main corridor, east to west, it took you through all the towns along the way. the popular harley models for traveling in those days was the 74ci and the 45ci models. andrew hero rode a 74 and his gorgious wife rode a 45. if u had a chance to be around an air cooled engine after it has been run for a while, after shutting it down, it will make little ping and click sounds as the metal cools and contracts back to it's original size. this cooling noise can be quite pronounced on a new engine. the hero riders needed to gas up when they got to crestview and stopped at a gas station and lined up for the pumps. andrew and his wife were leading the pack so were first in line. a young pump jockey hurries out when he hears the noise and gets ready to start pumping. andrew's wife is first at the pump and the young man is really shaken by her beauty. feeling self concious and embaressed, he struggles for something to say, and hearing the cooling engine making all the popping and pinging sounds, says 'boy, that thing sure is hot! andrews wife looks straight at him and says, boy, if you had been between my legs as long as this motorcycle has, you'ed be hot too. at that point the kid dropped the nozzel and ran back into the station. she pumped her own gas.

 

[StuartGrant]

Don't forget to flush your blinker fluid every 150k blinks and service your exhaust bearings every 66,666 miles people, the life you save could be your own.

http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=48

 

[eddie66]

Don't forget to flush your blinker fluid every 150k blinks and service your exhaust bearings every 66,666 miles people, the life you save could be your own.

http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=48

And you forgot to remember to rotate the air in the tires every 15,000 miles.

 

[BrianRosenthal]

...or discombobulate the adiabatic modulator!

 

[tazairforce]

...or discombobulate the adiabatic modulator!

Something I've noted on this thread.
Has anyone else realized how closely most of the comments on this thread have stayed with the title?? YES, MIRICALS DO HAPPEN, Z, AND THIS COULD BE ONE!!lol
As this thread seems to be slowing down, I'll try one.

What is the Proper, Southern, ReadNeck pronunciation of BMW??

As we're not talking about horse shoes and hand granades, close don't count!!

 

[HHH]

True story...
A young man was driving through Georgia with a few friends and was pulled over by a state trooper for excessive speed. The trooper asked him how fast he thought he was going. The young man answered, "Not as fast as Sherman!" I thought for sure he was going to get slapped in jail. For those few unsure of the reference, during the Civil War General Sherman captured Atlanta and had the Union troops burn a 45 mile swath to the Atlantic Ocean. It became known as "Sherman's march to the sea."

 

[Joshua Caldwell]

Something I've noted on this thread.
Has anyone else realized how closely most of the comments on this thread have stayed with the title?? YES, MIRICALS DO HAPPEN, Z, AND THIS COULD BE ONE!!lol
As this thread seems to be slowing down, I'll try one.

What is the Proper, Southern, ReadNeck pronunciation of BMW??

As we're not talking about horse shoes and hand granades, close don't count!!

*sshole

 

[HHH]

Regional (West Virginia) joke: What's a GTO? Going To Ohio.

 

[wjdom]

I have a fear of sped bumps....but I'm slowly getting over it....