Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[RUCRAYZE]

They sing the blues, of course!

I think it's Blue Balls

 

[Ty]

I'm a horrible dog owner. I hardly ever walk my dog. There's a blind guy down the street. He's always walking his dog.

 

[ross]

Know the difference between a woman and a washing machine?


A washing machine doesn't want to cuddle after you dump a load in it.

 

[ross]

My dad caught me jacking off when I was a kid and said 'If you keep doing that you will go blind' I raised my hand and said 'Hey Dad I'm over here'.

 

[Mel]

My dad caught me jacking off when I was a kid and said 'If you keep doing that you will go blind' I raised my hand and said 'Hey Dad I'm over here'.

Personally I cut back when I started wearing glasses.

 

[NSTG8R]

How I lost my teeth...

I was in the Western Bar and Grill last night sitting at the bar waiting for a beer when a butt-ugly, big old heifer [a girl] came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt. She said, "Hey sexy, how about giving me your number." I looked at her and said, "Have you got a pen?" She said, "I sure do!" I said, "Well you better get back in it before the farmer notices you're missing."

My dental surgery is this Friday.

 

[Mel]

Fellow went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. He told the dentist that he was a bleeder so couldn't tolerate a needle.
The dentist said, "No problem, we'll just use gas."
"Nope, I'm allergic to nitrous oxide."
"Well we have other ways, just take this little blue pill."
"I have to know what it is because I'm allergic to lots of things."
"I'm sure you aren't allergic to Viagra."
"You mean that Viagra will prevent the pain?"
"No, but it'll give you something to hang on to!"

 

[Coss]

Fellow went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. He told the dentist that he was a bleeder so couldn't tolerate a needle.
The dentist said, "No problem, we'll just use gas."
"Nope, I'm allergic to nitrous oxide."
"Well we have other ways, just take this little blue pill."
"I have to know what it is because I'm allergic to lots of things."
"I'm sure you aren't allergic to Viagra."
"You mean that Viagra will prevent the pain?"
"No, but it'll give you something to hang on to!"

 

[wjdom]

Went to visit my elderly uncle in the nursing home and asked how they were treating him? He said great, he gets three square meals a day and at night they give him a Viagra pill and a shot of whisky before bed time. Well I thought the old guy was a little confused about that, so I asked the night nurse about it. She confirmed the story as true. I asked why in the world is this done? She said the whisky helps him sleep and the Viagra keeps him from rolling out of the bed!

 

[ross]

What do you get when you mix Viagra and Rogain?


Don King.