Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Rob Croson]

This linked page has a pretty good explanation of it. "What the mirror really does is flip the order of things in the direction perpendicular to its surface." It also links to a video that I have not yet had the time to watch.

http://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/8227/a-mirror-flips-left-and-right-but-not-up-and-down

 

[Ty]

This linked page has a pretty good explanation of it. "What the mirror really does is flip the order of things in the direction perpendicular to its surface." It also links to a video that I have not yet had the time to watch.

http://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/8227/a-mirror-flips-left-and-right-but-not-up-and-down

(I actually know why it does what it does but have always thought it was fun watching people try to puzzle out why)

 

[Ekh]

23 Road Construction Fails

I just can't believe #3 -- didn't anyone at the city review the plans?

Number 3 is a pretty obvious photoshop exercise. The right-hand bridge end is semi-transparent. Oops.

 

[Coss]

Ticket Checker

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”

 

[Ty]

Ticket Checker

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”

... "Without missing a beat"... LOL

 

[Coss]

Whatcha doin?

A little boy walked in on his parents having sex.

He sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad, and he says "Mommy, what are you doing?"
She said, "Well, daddy's too fat so I thought I'd try to flatten him out."

The boy replied, "Why bother, every Tuesday the maid comes over and blows him back up again!"

 

[JEBar]

 

[Coss]

FIVE SECRETS OF A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, VERY important that these four women don't know each other.

 

[Coss]

Subtle Differences

MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man,

you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman,

you must love her a lot and not try understanding her at all.

MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistakes,

there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

[Coss]

26 Reasons Men Have 2 Dogs and Not 2 Wife's

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name

5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

6. A dog's parents never visit.

7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

10. Dogs seldom outlive you.

11. Dogs can't talk.

12. You never have to wait for a dog! They’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

13. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater!

22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.

25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.

26. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.