Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

Storming into the drugstore first thing Monday morning, the young man slammed a carton and a receipt down on the counter.

“I came in here on Friday and purchased twelve dozen condoms,” he yelled at the pharmacist. “Well, I counted them. There’s only eleven dozen here!”

Looking at the man square in the eye, the pharmacist apologetically said, “So sorry, sir, to have ruined your weekend.”

 

[hawg_ryder]

Been there dun that!

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[hawg_ryder]

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[Coss]

Two prostitutes are talking and one says, "Do you smoke when you finish?"

The other replies, "I don't know, I never checked."

 

[Coss]

At a country club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Right away he began flattering her outrageously.

The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch.
She was amazed when after an hour he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she said. “We only met an hour ago.
There is no way you could be so sure. We don’t know a thing about each other.”

“You are wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past seven years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his business account.”

 

[hawg_ryder]

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[hawg_ryder]

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[Coss]

“Cheer up,” the lawyer advised his recently divorced colleague. “There are plenty of other fish in the sea.”

“Maybe so,” replied his despondent friend, “but the last one took all my bait.” ............................................

 

[Coss]

A construction worker walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and then bellows,
"All you guys on this side of the bar are cocksuckers!"

A sudden silence descends. After a moment, he asks, "Anyone got a problem with that?"
The silence lengthens. He then chugs back another beer and growls, "And all you guys on this side of the bar are motherfuckers!"

Once again, the bar is silent. He looks around belligerently and roars, "Anyone got a problem with that?"

A lone man gets up from his stool unsteadily and starts to walk towards the man. The construction worker looks the man square in
the eye and says, "You got a problem, buddy?"

"Oh no," insists the man. "I'm just on the wrong side of the bar." ....................................................

 

[hawg_ryder]

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