Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

Mrs. Kelly, the housekeeper was briefing the newly appointed priest on problems in the rectory that required immediate attention.

“Your roof needs repair, Father,” she said. “Your water pressure is bad and your furnace is not working.”

“Now, Mrs. Kelly,” the priest began, “you’ve been the housekeeper here five years, and I’ve only been here a few days. Why not say our roof and our furnace?”

Several weeks later, when the pastor was meeting the Bishop and several other priests, Mrs. Kelly burst into the office terribly upset. “Father, Father,” she blurted, “there’s a mouse in our room and it’s under our bed!”

 

[Coss]

Two friends are having drinks and talking about their vivid dreams. “Last night,” says the first man, “I dreamt I was playing a round of golf at Augusta. It was a gorgeous day and I was shooting the round of my life.”

“That’s amazing,” the second man says. “Last night I dreamt I was in bed with two women.”

“What!” his friend cries, “You had two women and you didn’t even give your best friend a call?”

“I did,” explains the second man, “but your wife told me you were out golfing.”

 

[hawg_ryder]

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[hawg_ryder]

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[JohnJ]

ELIO !

 

[hawg_ryder]

Never, ever ever...

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[hawg_ryder]

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[Coss]

Roger had set a double date for himself and his friend Troy. Roger said, "Troy, I'll give you first choice. Let me tell you what they’re like."

"Okay," said his buddy.

"Sandra has kind of a dumpy figure. She's short on looks, but she gives an incredible blowjob. Suzie is pretty and has a perfect pair of legs, which she shows off by wearing shoes with very high heels."

"Say no more," interrupted Troy. "I'll go for head over heels anytime!" _______----------------------------------

 

[Coss]

When her gardener suddenly took ill, the wealthy widow decided to visit him in the hospital. At the visitor’s desk,
she announced, “I’ve come to see Mr. Jones in room two-eleven.”

“Are you his wife?” asked the clerk.

“Certainly not! I would never be married to a gardener!" answered the arrogant widow. “I’m his mistress.” .................................

 

[hawg_ryder]

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