Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

A man had two parrots, and he was having difficulties figuring out which is a male and which is a female.
One day coming back from work he saw that one of the parrots was on top of the other.
He caught the one on top and shaved his head, giving him a baldhead, thinking, now he could identify which is the male or female.

The following day a friend of the owner of the parrot, who was bald, came looking for the man.

The parrot called out to him, "Hey mister!"

When the man turned, the parrot said, "Were you caught fucking too?".....................................................................

 

[Coss]

Tim goes to his boss’s office and says, “Sir, I need tomorrow off. My wife is going to have a baby.”

The boss gives his the day off. Two days later Tim walks into work, and the boss asks, “Was it a boy or a girl?”

Tim says, “We won’t know for nine months.”..................................................................

 

[hawg_ryder]

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[hawg_ryder]

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[hawg_ryder]

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[Coss]

One day at a zoo, they found a female gorilla was in heat.
Knowing that they did not have a male gorilla around they decided to
ask a groundskeeper if he would have sex with the female gorilla for $200 dollars.

Let me think it over said the man.
A couple of days later they approached the groundskeeper and asked him if he had decided one way or the other.
He replied, “I am having a very tough time raising the $200 dollars."

 

[Coss]

I wish I were a ring upon my lovers hand…

For every time she'd wipe her ass…

I would then see the Promise Land!

 

[Coss]

Negotiations between union members and their employer are at an impasse.
The union denies that the workers are flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set our by their contract.
One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator holds the morning edition of the newspaper.

“This man,” he announces, "called in sick yesterday!"

There on the sports page was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

A union negotiator breaks the silence in the room.
“Wow!” he says, “Just think of the score he could have had if he hadn’t been sick!” ..........................

 

[Coss]

There were two men standing at the medicine isle in the supermarket.
The first man said, "Viagra is the greatest drug in the world it has helped my love life and I feel much better about myself."

The second man replied, "Wow, it helped you that much! Can you get it over the counter?"

The first man said, "If I take two.".....................................

 

[hawg_ryder]

Belated Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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