Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[hawg_ryder]

An Englishman in France
This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally blasted. A French policeman stops his car and asks if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malts scotches thereafter.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcohol-test (breath test) the Englishman and - ping, pow, boom - verifies that he is indeed sloshed. He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested. The Englishman answers with a bit of humor, "No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and that my wife is the one driving . . . . . on the other side?"


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[hawg_ryder]

Grandma is always right!

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[hawg_ryder]

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[hawg_ryder]

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[Johnny Acree]

My motorcycle has an angry old man living in the headlight

 

[hawg_ryder]

Can't be too careful about PW security!

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[Mark BEX]

Can't be too careful about PW security!

and don't we just love it when you create a new password, and THEN they tell you that you need 'X' and 'X' and 'X' ...

Actually once I made a new password not realising i needed 8 letters, so I tried "MYPENIS" .....

..... but rejected, as it was "too short".

 

[hawg_ryder]

and don't we just love it when you create a new password, and THEN they tell you that you need 'X' and 'X' and 'X' ...

Actually once I made a new password not realising i needed 8 letters, so I tried "MYPENIS" .....

..... but rejected, as it was "too short".

Hey Mark you shoulda put a drop of Unicorn blood on it...

 

[Coss]

A man goes to a bar, and sees a large girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

She's flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

The man says, "Oh, definitely! Most tables would've collapsed by now." ......................................................................

 

[Coss]

Love is a temptation caused by a sensation,

In which a man sticks his location into a girls destination,

Which doubles the population for the next generation.

Do you need an explanation or do you need a demonstration?........................................................