Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Coss]

Sign above urinal:

If your hose is short and your pump is weak…

Better stand close or you'll piss on your feet.

 

[Ty]

I found this sign at Burger King. I pushed the button like it shows... Where is my bacon?

 

[hawg_ryder]

_hr

 

[Coss]

A man has to take a business trip overseas so he entrusts his best friend with the job of keeping an eye on his wife.

If anything out of the ordinary should occur, his friend was to notify him immediately.
After about a week with no contact, the businessman received a telegram containing only one sentence...

“The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn’t show up yesterday.”

 

[hawg_ryder]

Yikes!

_hr

 

[Coss]

A couple is being interviewed by the local newspaper on the occasion of their golden wedding anniversary.

“In all these years, did you ever consider divorce?” the reporter asks.

“Oh, no, not divorce,” they reply as one. “Murder sometimes, but never divorce.”

 

[Coss]

Bill and Doug were having a beer at the neighborhood bar. "What's the matter?" asked Bill of his buddy. "You look kind of down."

"My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin."

"Why's that?"

"Because it's brief, unexpected and usually a disaster."

 

[hawg_ryder]

I would too!

_hr

 

[hawg_ryder]

I hate it when that happens!

I think he just threw a "shoe"


_hr

 

[Coss]

Hope there not a foot in it <hehehehehe>

Real question is, where is the rest of the rider?