Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[ross]

One more: After the tsumniai in Indonesia We sent a couple of Aircraft carriers to provide aid, and some French NATO idiot asked. What's America going to do, bomb them? An American Admiral responded, "An American aircraft carrier has a hospital that can treat 300 people a day. It has a kitchen that can feed 3,000 people a day, It can produce enough fresh water to provide for 30,000 people a day. The United States has 16 Nuclear powered aircraft carriers. How many does France have?

 

[LockMD]

It has a kitchen that can feed 3,000 people a day

I hope it can do more than that as when I was on the USS Vinson, she was carrying 6,000+ o_O

 

[LockMD]

So I was on this website the other day and they had those banner ad thingy at the top of the page.....

Just what is that Elio thingy?

 

[NSTG8R]

So I was on this website the other day and they had those banner ad thingy at the top of the page.....

View attachment 4557

Just what is that Elio thingy?

Right now, it's a bigfoot cruiser with 58 brake unicornpower.

 

[Ty]

So I was on this website the other day and they had those banner ad thingy at the top of the page.....

View attachment 4557

Just what is that Elio thingy?

So... Elio advertising to people who already have reservations... hmm... (I know it's just an ad banner from some large company who places them for traffic)

 

[eddie66]

So I was on this website the other day and they had those banner ad thingy at the top of the page.....

View attachment 4557

Just what is that Elio thingy?

I was under the impression that elio pop up came up because I was signed up for google alerts on e!io stuff.

 

[Hotscoots]

 

[NSTG8R]

Just got a good one in my email, thought I'd pass it on:



Fifty shades of grey

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.

Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered,
and dinner cooking on the fire, sitting having a cold beer.

"Shit Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands
over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles
and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading that 50 Shades of Grey book ......

On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, here I am!

 

[RUCRAYZE]

One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.

This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.

He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"

Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

 

[NSTG8R]

One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.

This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.

He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"

Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

ROTFLMAO!!

Gotta remember that one!