Made in USA
Elio Addict
How about sky hooks and go get me a bucket of steam? Or perhaps get me an ammonia compressor connuter valve (doesn't exist).
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
Mel
Elio Addict
In the Air Force, we always sent the new guy after a bucket of "Propwash"!
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Really not a good idea to decorate palm trees with Christmas lights! 
_hr
_hr
You know why the woman got a tattoo of a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other?
Because everyone knows the best eating is between Thanksgiving and Christmas......
......
...........
Because everyone knows the best eating is between Thanksgiving and Christmas......
.................
An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin you day,
but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery are enough".
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand each other any longer," the old man said. "We are are sick and tired of each other,
and I am sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Chicago and tell her." He hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck, they're not going to divorce!" she shouts.
"I'II take care of this".
She calls Phoenix immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there.
I am calling my brother and we'll both be there tomorrow morning. Until then don't do anything. DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up the phone and turn to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they are coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery are enough".
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand each other any longer," the old man said. "We are are sick and tired of each other,
and I am sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Chicago and tell her." He hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck, they're not going to divorce!" she shouts.
"I'II take care of this".
She calls Phoenix immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there.
I am calling my brother and we'll both be there tomorrow morning. Until then don't do anything. DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up the phone and turn to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they are coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry.
"No fancy stuff, doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Mr. Smith turned to his wife Becky, "Show him, honey."
"No fancy stuff, doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Mr. Smith turned to his wife Becky, "Show him, honey."
I'm sitting here on this damn pot…
The Taco Salad's not so hot...
Tomatoes, Beef, Sour Cream and Beans...
Now I'm a walking shit machine!
The Taco Salad's not so hot...
Tomatoes, Beef, Sour Cream and Beans...
Now I'm a walking shit machine!
That's good enough for now, more by the holiday, it just got way to quiet around here.
-Coss-
-Coss-