Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Mark BEX]

Take it from a guy who, as a teen, rode his unicycle everywhere (I even delivered the newspaper on it). The joke that we (owners) will hear is..."Hey buddy, you lost a wheel!" Followed by the roar of self satisfied laughter. Everyone seems to think they are the first to think if it.

Guy on Youtube drove his Morgan 3 wheeler across America, guy pulls up next to him yelling "Hey Buddy, you lost a wheel" of which he had heard a thousand times.

'Yeah, yeah, I know"....

"No Buddy, you lost a wheel!"

Gives him the finger, so the guy takes off.

Next petrol stop, he sees his SPARE WHEEL that was strapped on the tail has gone, lol :-)

 

[Mark BEX]

Went to the opening of a new Zoo today.

No animals at all, except for one dog.

It was a Shitzu.

 

[Coss]

A fellow goes to confession and tells the Priest, "Father I stole some lumber and built a dog house."

The Priest says, "For your penance say 3 Hail Marys."

The man hesitates and the Priest says, "What’s wrong?"

The man says, "Father I stole some lumber and built a garage."

"Well in that case, say three Hail Marys and three Our Fathers."

Still the man hesitates, and he tells the Priest, "Father, I can’t leave without telling you the absolute truth. I stole some lumber and built a house."

The Priest says, "In that case, do you know how to make a Novena?"

The man says, "No Father but if you have a blueprint, I got the lumber." ...............................................

 

[hawg_ryder]

Wait a sec...

... ...



_hr

 

[Coss]

Little Johnny and Little Bobby and in a verbal battle...

“My father is better than your father!” said Bobby.

“No, he’s not!” said Johnny.

“My brother is better than your brother!” said Bobby.

“No, he’s not!” said Johnny.

“My mother is better than your mother!” said Bobby.

Little Johnny paused for a moment and said,

“Well you’ve got me there. My father says the same thing.” .....................................

 

[Coss]

Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat,
young Susan said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”

The woman gave her daughter an angry look. “Susan, how dare you talk about your father like that!"...................

 

[hawg_ryder]

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling COVID protection masks.

The Taliban terrorist asked: "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied: "I have no water. Would you like to buy a mask? They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted hysterically: "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment. I spit on your masks. I need water!”

"Sorry, I have none, just masks - and only $5."

"Pahh! A curse on your masks! I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you but . . . I must conserve my energy and find water!"

"Okay," said the little old Jewish man. “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a mask from me, or that you hate me, threaten my life, and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need. Go In Peace." Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away, over the hill.

Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead, and gasped: "They won't let me in without a mask.”


_hr

 

[Mark BEX]

Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead, and gasped: "They won't let me in without a mask.”

... The old "won't let me in without a tie" joke :-)

 

[Mark BEX]

Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat,
young Susan said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”

The woman gave her daughter an angry look. “Susan, how dare you talk about your father like that!"...................

Sounds like a line straight out of "Married with Children", Peggy saying that about Al ;-)

 

[Mark BEX]