hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
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Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )
- Thread starter Keith Dahl
- Start date
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hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Indeed!
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The butcher lived in an apartment over his shop. One night he was awakened by strange noises, coming from the shop.
He tiptoed downstairs and observed that his 21-year-old daughter was sitting on the chopping block and was masturbating with a liverwurst.
He sighed and tiptoed back to bed.
The next morning, one of his customers came in and asked for some liverwurst. The butcher explained that he did not have any.
The woman was annoyed. She pointed and said, “No liverwurst, eh? Well, what’s that hanging on the hook right over there?”
The embarrassed butcher frowned at her and replied, “That, lady, is my new son-in-law.”
He tiptoed downstairs and observed that his 21-year-old daughter was sitting on the chopping block and was masturbating with a liverwurst.
He sighed and tiptoed back to bed.
The next morning, one of his customers came in and asked for some liverwurst. The butcher explained that he did not have any.
The woman was annoyed. She pointed and said, “No liverwurst, eh? Well, what’s that hanging on the hook right over there?”
The embarrassed butcher frowned at her and replied, “That, lady, is my new son-in-law.”
A man was at a zoo and noticed one of the orangutans dressing up and combing his hair.
The man asked the orangutan, “Why are you getting all dressed up?”
The orangutan answered, “Mating season starts today.”
“Orangutans have a mating season?”
“Don't humans have a mating season?”
The lonely man responded, “Is 'anytime I can get it' a season?”...…….
The man asked the orangutan, “Why are you getting all dressed up?”
The orangutan answered, “Mating season starts today.”
“Orangutans have a mating season?”
“Don't humans have a mating season?”
The lonely man responded, “Is 'anytime I can get it' a season?”...…….
Mel
Elio Addict
Speaking of the Zoo......While looking at a particular cage, the Teacher asked if anyone knew what kind of animal is in there. Little Johnny spoke and said, "Of Course! It's a Freakin' Lion!" The Teacher asked Johnny where in the world he got that kind of language. "Well Teacher, it's right there on the sign." And of course the side clearly read...African Lion!
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Hmmmm
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Easy, both of them. <hehehehehe>
A typical macho man married a good looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules.
He said, “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want.
And I don’t expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner.
I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don’t you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?”
His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night... whether you’re here or not.”
He said, “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want.
And I don’t expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner.
I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don’t you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?”
His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night... whether you’re here or not.”
The new neighborhood supermarket has an automatic water mister to Keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more!
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more!
hawg_ryder
Elio Addict
Hmmmm...
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