Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Johnny Cyclone]

Two atoms were talking. One said, "I've lost an electron!"
The other said, "Are you sure?".
"Yes, I'm positive!"

 

[hawg_ryder]

A Romulan Cloaking Device?? How do you plan on powering that?
They use 13 gigajoules just to turn them on.
I don't think the factory battery has enough juice, and the alternator would be screaming!!

No worries Coss… I'm going with the small cloaking device...

Once I get the Mister Fusion and the Flux Capacitor installed... It's all good!!!

_hr

 

[Elio Amazed]

 

[booboo]

https://tenor.com/view/fail-fall-wtf-audio-funny-gif-3547402

 

[Travelbuzz1]

 

[hawg_ryder]

New Wife...

One evening, after the honeymoon, Tom was working on his Harley
motorcycle in the garage.

His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long
period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now
that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your
time out here in your garage. You probably should also consider selling
your Harley and all your welding equipment along with your gun
collection, and your fishing gear, and the boat and lose all those
stupid model airplanes, plus dump that vintage hot rod sports car, and
your home brewing equipment..."

Tom got a horrified look on his face.

She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "There for a minute, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!?" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

Tom replied, “I wasn't.."

_hr

 

[Travelbuzz1]

 

[Coss]

EEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NEXT!!

 

[Coss]

A father and son are having their final man to man talk before the son's wedding.

The son asks his father, "Just to be sure Dad, is there any way a woman can get pregnant from anal sex?"

The father astutely replies, "I thought the answer would be self evident son, where do you think lawyers and IRS agents come from?"

 

[hawg_ryder]

Damn Skippy!!!

_hr