Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Wife, "After I die will you remarry?"
Husband, "I guess, probably."
"Will you let her sleep in 'our' bed?"
"I guess, probably."
"Will you let her wear my clothes?"
"I guess, probably."
"Will you let her use my golf clubs?"
"No, absolutely not!"
"Why not?"
"She's left handed!"

- Friend : Do you sleep with a fan? Me : I'd say my wife kind of likes me but "fan" is pushing it. - Her : I told him I wanted to walk down the aisle. He sent me grocery shopping. - One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. - Wife : I bet he's thinking about other women. Me : Why is Batman one word , Iron Man is two words , and Spider-Man is two words with a dash? - Purchased a deodorant stick today. The instructions say "remove cap and push up bottom." I can hardly walk but when I fart , the room smells lovely. - I decided to take up fencing. The neighbor insists I put it back. - A lot of women complain their husbands never listen to them. I'm proud to say I've never heard my wife say that. - It's okay to be wrong sometimes. I wouldn't know what that's like but I'm sure it's okay.

This is an old one... sorry it it has already been posted.