Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

[Ty]

-1 point for reposting a joke from this very thread

Hey, even I don't have time to go back through ALL the pages!!! + 1 point for trying to contribute! (I'm countering your -1 point!)

 

[Ty]

A Frenchman, Italian, and a stunning blond walk into a bar. The bartender said " Holy crap! Have you seen this?"

The end

 

[RUCRAYZE]

A Frenchman, Italian, and a stunning blond walk into a bar. The bartender said " Holy crap! Have you seen this?"

The end

Hummmm, not up to your usual standards. -I understand your exuberance !!

 

[Ty]

Hummmm, not up to your usual standards. -I understand your exuberance !!

I was going for the it's-funny-because-it-was-unexpected-but-expected laugh.

Would it have been more funny if I left the Frenchman off?

 

[Joshua Caldwell]

A Frenchman, Italian, and a stunning blond walk into a bar. The bartender said " Holy crap! Have you seen this?"

The end

Elio is the punchline to a joke now eh?

 

[RUCRAYZE]

A guy parks his Elio out front, walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00

He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.

"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.

"Yes," she purrs. "I am."

"Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"

 

[Ty]

Elio is the punchline to a joke now eh?

No. Okay, I see where you could get that. But no.
It was just a way to throw the Engine video into this thread...

A guy parks his Elio out front, walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00

He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.

"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.

"Yes," she purrs. "I am."

"Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"

You would have earned another +1 if you had managed to get the video URL in there somehow... LOL

 

[ross]

An Italian a Frenchman and a stunning blonde walk into a bar, the bartender says "what is this, a joke?"
Their Elios were parked out front.
A guy walks into a bar and notices a little guy about a foot and a half tall playing piano at the end of the bar. He asks the bartender "hey what's with the little piano player?" The bartender says "I was cleaning out the back room the other day and found an old wine bottle, I rubbed the dust off of it and a genie popped out and said he would grant me any wish, and this is what I got." The guy asks "let me see that bottle" The bartender sets it on the bar, the guy rubs it and a genie pops out and says "I will grant you any wish" guy says "I want a million bucks" genie says "you got it" and immediately hundreds of thousands ducks fly into the bar. The guy asks the bartender "what, is he deaf" bartender replies "what, do you think I asked for an 18 inch pianist?"

 

[eddie66]

After a few too many visits to the "Pleasure Parlour"
A chap called Craig noticed green lumps
On his willy. So off he goes to the doctor.

The doctor explains "You know how wrestlers and rugby
Union players get cauliflower ears?"

"Yes" says Craig, nodding seriously.

"Well" says the doctor, "You've got Brothel Sprouts."

 

[Bert]

A 3 legged dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my paw?"