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Favorite Movie Quotes
- Thread starter JEBar
- Start date
RMClubfitter
Elio Addict
Bull Durham
I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring, which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250, not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.
I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring, which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250, not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.
Ty
Elio Addict
I thought it was "For
Ty
Elio Addict
Two from the same movie... (Galaxy Quest starring Tim Allen)
Brandon's Mom: Where are you going with those fireworks?
Brandon Wheegan: Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole and just, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mach 15, which you guys know is pretty unstable, obviously, so we're gonna help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation.
Brandon's Mom: Uh, all right– dinner's at seven. [Brandon leaves and she turns to Brandon's father, who seems distracted after Brandon's odd statement] Well, at least he's outside.
and my favorite quote of all time (I highlighted in red the phrase I use way too much):
[Jason is being menaced by a huge rock monster]
Tommy Webber: Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!
Jason Nesmith: It doesn't have any eyes, Tommy!
Tommy Webber: Well, then go for the throat or something, its vulnerable spots!
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock! It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!
Guy Fleegman: I know! You construct a weapon. Look around you – can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?
Jason Nesmith: A LATHE?! GET OFF THE LINE, GUY!!
Brandon's Mom: Where are you going with those fireworks?
Brandon Wheegan: Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole and just, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mach 15, which you guys know is pretty unstable, obviously, so we're gonna help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation.
Brandon's Mom: Uh, all right– dinner's at seven. [Brandon leaves and she turns to Brandon's father, who seems distracted after Brandon's odd statement] Well, at least he's outside.
and my favorite quote of all time (I highlighted in red the phrase I use way too much):
[Jason is being menaced by a huge rock monster]
Tommy Webber: Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!
Jason Nesmith: It doesn't have any eyes, Tommy!
Tommy Webber: Well, then go for the throat or something, its vulnerable spots!
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock! It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!
Guy Fleegman: I know! You construct a weapon. Look around you – can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?
Jason Nesmith: A LATHE?! GET OFF THE LINE, GUY!!
bowers baldwin
Elio Addict
Ty
Elio Addict
I liked that one too! He was so funny in that role.
wizard of ahs
Elio Addict
