Jokes! ( Not Necessarily Work Safe )

Ty said:

This may not be a joke but it WAS pretty funny... after the fact. That's my truck (I have a newer one now)... stopped at a stop sign. The police officer apparently didn't get the whole concept of "Stop".

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Crash scene investigator to officer- "so tell me how fast was TY going in reverse when he backed into you????"

as I learned, this site is "X" rated

RUCRAYZE said:

Crash scene investigator to officer- "so tell me how fast was TY going in reverse when he backed into you????"

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LOL... Actually, the very first words he said, and I shit you not, was "Oh man. Not again."

Last one for today.... This one actually has something to do with Elio. Well, gas prices, anyway.

Okay... One actual joke.

Guy saddles up to the bar and orders a beer. "Hey, bartender, want to hear a blonde joke?"
The bartender says "I'm a blonde woman, know karate, the woman next to you is a blonde bouncer, those two blondes are cops, and the one at that table is a top ranked boxer. Do you still want to tell a blonde joke?"
The guy takes another drink and says "Well, not if I'm going to have to explain it 5 times."

Ty said:

Last one for today.... This one actually has something to do with Elio. Well, gas prices, anyway.View attachment 5001

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tell the pilot the gas cap is on the other side!!!!

NSTG8R said:

Tonsils

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born... couldn't walk for a year.

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A guy goes to his doctor and asks to get casterated. Doctor asks why, and the guy says that he and the wife have 6 kids and that is all they want and can afford. Doctor says OK, It's your call, and performs the procedure. The guy is laying in a bed in the recovery room and there's another guy in a bed in the same room, so he asks him "What are you here for?" Guy 2 says I got a vasectomy. Guy 1 snaps his fingers and says "That's the word."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink.

Walking up behind her he says: "Hi there, good lookin'. How's it going?"

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door,back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on,dirty, clean... It just doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-ass love it."

Eyes now wide with interest, he responds: "No kidding. I'm a lawyer too. What firm are you with?"

Ty said:

Last one for today.... This one actually has something to do with Elio. Well, gas prices, anyway.View attachment 5001

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Crime scene investigators final report-" the car did have the right-of-way"